"Lestat" sucks.

No, really. It sucks. Don't waste a single cent or an iota of your time on it. My friend and I who went to see it last night walked out at the intermission. I've never done that before. Never. As an introduction to the earnest suckiness of it all, I present unto you Anne Rice's bio from the Playbill (she is credited for the Source Material):

The bio of an artist such as Anne Rice (b. 1941) can only be truly understood in the context of the author's personal testimony - her vast body of work. Each beloved character, iridescently animated and virtually manifested before our eyes, witnesses its creator's experience in triumph and in sorrow in searching for some semblance of Happy Peace. From the pangs of Louis' utter solitude to Claudia's untimely demise to Lestat's wickedly bedazzling smile, the author's life permeates each page with such ardor that one could only blush at being so exposed. But Anne Rice gives herself - her life in full - as a gift to the world in every spellbinding chapter, every carefully turned page, every meaningful word; mere footprints of a life lived in art. A native of New Orleans now residing in the California desert, she is the author of 27 books, which include The Vampire Chronicles, The Witching Hour, Cry to Heaven, and Violin. Rice's latest novel, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt, is the beginning of her literary contribution to Christian art.

I just... and there's... and she... *sigh* I wish I could get back the hours I've spent reading her books. Sure, some of the early ones were entertaining, but her writing's just gotten so bloated, and too full of her own self-importance, that the stories themselves are long past left at the wayside.

Which was a part of my problem with "Lestat." Not only was the music entirely unmemorable, and giggleworthy, with songs such as "Beautiful Boy," "The Thirst," "Make Me As You Are," and "The Crimson Kiss," but it was all played with such a dreadfully serious sense of earnestness, such high-mindedness, like no one ever stopped the creators and said, "Hey. Uh... you guys know you're making a vampire musical, right? Vampires." Because you have to admit that there's going to be a level of campy, and if you go with it, then maybe you end up with some light entertainment. But if you're convinced you're making A.R.T. then you end up with dreck.

In my opinion, at least.

I wish I'd had a better experience with vampire musicals. But even Dracula was more fun to see. Hell, we made it through the whole thing, so it must have been. I think part of it, even for a fan of vampire entertainment such as myself, is that the medium of the Broadway musical is just too in-your-face for the genre. In a movie, or on tv, it's a lot easier to ignore the behind the scenes pyrotechnics and special effects. On the stage, it's harder to be blind to the wires and the trapdoors and the giant screens behind the actors showing video footage of blood cells.

Oh man, I have to go lie down now. It's all too, too much.

What's the worst thing you've ever seen on stage?