"It's a TripTik, not a fortune teller!"
A long time ago, a wise (and perhaps crazy) friend of mine used the above exclamation as a reponse to a roadtripping buddy's questions about food at an upcoming rest stop. Since then, it remains one of my favorite random things I've ever heard or said in the company of friends. Here's a couple of others:
"You know what would be a really useful skill to have?"
"Being a hard ass?"
"Also, lip reading."
"A friend is like a kicky scarf you can use as a bandage, but it's not a crutch."
"Kill me if I ever wear gauchos."
What are some of your favorites? Remember, you (or someone you know) has to have been the one to say them, or have overheard them. No tv or movie quotes!
posted by ktbuffy at 2:59 PM
10 Comments:
Hmmm. Most of the memorable ones that come to mind *are* from TV and movie quotes ...
Now I have to keep my ears open, since I'm sure some of them will pop up in the next few days.
11/22/2005 5:19 PM
"No... I don't want to understand the universe, I just want to control it." -- Jackie (got this on a t-shirt)
"I'm not fucked, I'm beyond fucked. 'Fucked' is across the room, looking at me, going 'Hi! Glad I'm not you.'" -- Jackie (got this on a t-shirt, too)
"You'd be surprised how hand eye coordination decreases with loss of the head"
"If your screwed and you know it clap your hands." -- Jackie, singing (and clapping)
"I don’t know why people still hang out around me."
"Hmm. Do I tell the truth or make her feel better?"
"At this point I wouldn’t listen to my advice."
"I am not as stupid as I look... or that everyone thinks I am... or the best standardized testing indicates."
11/22/2005 5:19 PM
A gaming friend at the start of an Amber campaign.
Todd-> "I am tired of everyone making fun of my charactures names, and I have come up with one that no one will be able to make fun of."
Me-> "Yeah, what is it?"
Todd-> "Demetrius!"
John-> "Ok, good luck with that Deadmeatrius...."
--
From my D20 GM.
"Chaotic is not evil-lite"
--
Also, from the D20 game.
GM-> "So, you sneak attack the mugger before he is able to mug the drunk?"
Me-> "Yes!"
GM-> "You know this brings up alignment issues?"
Me-> "Coming from the man in favor of concealed carry so he can stop crime...I don't think so."
->GM "Point taken, proceed."
--
I will try and come up with more.
11/22/2005 5:38 PM
I once said to ***Dave, as we were trapped behind a slow-moving car, "Don't they know the Basic Speed Law?" I then had to very quickly come up with a good capper, and somehow managed, "Never drive slower than the guy behind you."
11/23/2005 9:12 AM
I like those t-shirts, Doyce. Way to go, Jackie! Keep 'em coming!
11/23/2005 11:10 AM
"Let's go down to the port and knock-up some sailors!"
Said the male Paladin in a D20 game who really just wanted info and not sweet salty loving.
"Casa del Titty?"
My female parental unit as she pondered how to say 'giggle joint' in Spanish.
"The sun is not always correct!" Boy sprout leader years upon years ago trying to explain that walking in the direction of the setting sun wouldn't necessarily have us going due west.
"What are they doing?"
"He thinks the ficus is trying to kill him."
Me trying to explain to a random passerby what some friends doing a Vampire LARP at a local shopping mall were acting out.
All I can remember off-hand right now.
11/23/2005 12:25 PM
The Jackie Quotes...
If I remember correctly, they all came from Amber games.
Yes...Jackie is that funny.
11/23/2005 1:24 PM
Randy T. during an Amber game:
"I refuse to be involved in anything even remotely refered to as "The Hamster Ball of Doom".
--
MK During a Nobilis Game:
"Oh my god, Noah is the Power of Not-helping!"
---
John B.
"I am not evil, I just get folks to do what they really want to do in the first place."
---
Candy, while we moved her 42 boxes of books and setting up her library.
"Todd, quit putting the Bible in the Fiction section!"
---
A drunk guy that showed up at gaming one time
DG: What do I see?
GM: Stairs going up, and stairs going down.
DG: Anything else?
GM: Well, there is a door behind you...
DG: I go through the door, what do I see?
GM: A twenty by twenty bunk room.
DG: Anything else?
GM: Well, there is a door behind you...
DG: I go through it, what do I see?
GM: Stairs going up, and stairs going down.
DG: Anything else?
Rinse, lather, repeat.
--
Too two of my friends while they were on 'shrooms and I decided to take them to the Holloween Mall Crawl...
"Who are you, Who are you!"
This made them cry.
---
Mary:
"I really hated The Fifth Element, I mean it really bothered me that you could see that Milla Jovovich had blond roots."
John B.
"She had hair?"
11/23/2005 1:57 PM
At a D&D Game when I was in High School:
"You can't kill me! I will crush you like a wet grocery sack and dance on your sticky bones!"
My brother, to an insult:
"That wasn't designed to make me feel good."
My son, upon attacking my wife with a plastic power drill:
"I just screwed you, Mommy!"
Non-sequitor I use to end uncomfortable silences:
"Walk out? Hell, if we can find my truck, we can drive out!"
I'm sure there are more, but that's all I've got at the moment...
11/23/2005 4:11 PM
My brother told me he heard our cousin say, "I used to hate cheesecake until i tried it."
11/29/2005 12:41 PM
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