Imagine for a sec...
That you have to pick up your entire life and start over somewhere new, or that you are way past your school years, and looking for new places to make friends. Real friends, not just folks you hang out with in bars. Where do you go? What do you do? How do you find people with similar interests?
posted by ktbuffy at 3:17 PM
4 Comments:
Entirely Doyce-centric answer that I already won't be that helpful and will, in fact, probably get me smacked:
Gaming conventions.
It's what I did in the past. Heck, in places where there weren't regular local conventions, I started them.
((In fact, one of them is still going, an annual weekend convention that I first set up with some of my gaming friends back in...
1992. My god. It'll be it's 14th year, this summer, and of the six or so good friends I met through that connection, I'm still emailing regularly with one guy, and have two others (Lee and De) over to my house every few weeks.
But... see... that's where I find folks with MY similar interests, and interests of a specific type.
Okay, I'll try to make this marginally more helpful: take [interest in question]. Local local event, business, or location where [interest] is supported, encouraged, and hopefully flourishes. Go there. Participate. Keep doing that til you meet people you like.
Also... umm... group activity organizing places like meetup.com? Just looking for my own self, in my home area netted me a couple writing and mountain biking groups, and that's without actually trying real hard.
6/22/2006 4:59 PM
Terribly helpful, Avo! You should talk to some of the players who beat you -- maybe go out for drinks with them and see if they can give you some helpful hints for not getting your ass kicked, sand thrown in your face, and your lunch money stolen.
And Meetup.com sounds like a great idea, too. You know, in case trolling the p0rn sites fails the hypothetical person looking for new friends.
6/23/2006 12:56 PM
I have no idea how I've made any of my friends, so I probably can't help much. I think I'd be in a terrible fix were I to suddenly be cut off from all of them and thrown into a new city on my own.
That said ... a huge "wedge" for me on arriving in Colorado was (this is going to sound incredibly geeky, but, damn, Doyce already came up with something just as "bad") advertising at a local game shop. That's how I found Randy and Doyce and, through them, the whole Consortium Crewe.
Church social groups can also be a way to hook up with people, if you're churchily-inclined (and, if you're not, probably not).
Work? Mebbe. Depends on how outgoingly social you are, how many extracurricular events you have an interest in, etc.
Friends-of-Friends, maybe ... "Oh, I have a friend who moved to Bismark, too -- let me find their name. You'd like them."
Talking to neighbors. Getting into their social circles.
Sports. Hiking. Golf. Looking to see what's out there, being outgoing and hooking up with people, seeing what develops.
I guess the bottom line is, you do have to reach out, past your boundaries, past your comfort zone. It's *not* something I do at all well (or willingly), but on the occasions I've done it, it's worked great. I just have to keep reminding myself of that ...
6/26/2006 12:49 PM
When I uprooted my entire life and moved to MA, I was fortunate enough to move in with Himself, who knows a lot of people. Then I started gaming. Then I got into the SCA and bellydancing and various writers' groups.
How mundanes meet people is quite beyond me. Something I've struggled with in my writing!
6/28/2006 7:09 PM
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