A Muggle's Guide to the World of Harry Potter

Via Bookslut, I was directed to this fascinating disertation on the world of Harry Potter, as written by Pierre Cavanaugh, a guy who never read the books or watched the films, but is pretty good at figuring things out. My favorite part:

Harry Potter's world is filled with goblins and gremlins and elves and dwarves and hobbits and leprechauns and other magical creatures that keep midget actors and makeup artists employed. Sure, they are all short, sprightly, and have pointy ears, but there are vast differences between the various mini-species: goblins, for example, are good, while gremlins are evil. Elves are gay. Dwarves are only useful as an ingredient in super-spicy wizard chili. Actually, all these diminutive creatures are pretty much the same. They all taste good! A popular wizard dish is Shrimpy Halfling Jambalaya. Just take any combination of leprechauns, goblins, elves, whatever, and throw them into a big cauldron. Add some mustard and whatever smoky potions are kept in test tubes and garnish with parsley. Voila! -- a delicious, nutritious meal. Serves six.

Mmmm... Jambalaya!